Who among us doesn’t want to be liked, to live conflict free, to please those around us? Problem is, as Lincoln said, “You can never please all of the people all of the time.”
Dr. Susan Biali in How to Stop People-Pleasing says most people-pleasers are women who attract mean, controlling bullies. People-pleasing is draining and futile as an attempt to getting your needs met.
An eggshell walker myself, my life improved drastically when I pulled the plug on people-pleasing. When I feel the need to please creeping back up, I sing Follow Your Arrow with Kacey Musgraves to remind myself people-pleasing isn’t profitable.
Is there someone to whom you should say “no” today?
Now, whenever I think I need to say “No” I’m going to think “Follow your arrow.” *grin* I don’t know the song. I’ll have to look it up today. #atozchallenge
When I heard it on a music award show I was sold immediately:-)
Lynn, great post with much wisdom. I may have to learn that tune too.
What a concise, useful thought. I, too, have spent much of my life on eggshells, it’s a tough habit to break. I don’t know the song though, maybe I should check it out.
I am a recovering people-pleaser. I’m learning to stand up for myself and establish healthy boundaries in my relationships with others.
TaMara
AJ’s AtoZ wHooligan
Tales of a Pee Dee Mama
Bravo, TaMara!