A Cigarette Story

Letting Go: Smoking and non-smoking, by David Sedaris and published in the New Yorker May 5, 2008, is bound to strike a universal chord in just about any American. At least it did in me. Smoking played a big part in my youth. My parents both smoked. So did extended family members. As a small child, I hated the smell.

Ashtray. ©D.L. Ewbank

Ashtray. ©D.L. Ewbank

No, this isn’t a piece of 1950’s science fiction inspired, contemporary aluminum art. For those of you born after smoking became taboo on airplanes, in offices, even in bars, this is an ash tray. If you light up that white, pencil-shaped object that contains tobacco, it burns. When it burns, it creates ashes. Flicking ashes on hardwood floors in residential homes was frowned on in polite society in the 1950s.

Ashtray, second view. ©D.L. Ewbank

Ashtray, second view. ©D.L. Ewbank

See the cigarette holder rising from the aluminum dish? How handy!

This ash tray was at my grandmother’s home. It was probably meant to facilitate that smoking habit so popular and sophisticated in the 1950s which was kind of thoughtful since my grandmother didn’t smoke. Nope, Mamaw dipped snuff, but that’s a different story…

Ashtray, third view. ©D.L. Ewbank

Ashtray, third view. ©D.L. Ewbank

At Mamaw’s home, there were no toys. Or were there? For me, playing with the ash tray was as much fun as any toy…because when I was playing with it, four cigarettes didn’t have a resting place!

 

What to do when you find yourself imprisoned?

Imprisonment draws to mind things like prison incarceration and slavery. It can also mean being held captive mentally, emotionally, or physically. Things that prevent free movement include agoraphobia, disabilities, injuries, sloth, addiction. When you find yourself held captive, what do you do? French mystic Jeanne Marie Bouvier de la Motte Guyon (1648-1717), imprisoned in the Bastille, the fortress Louis XIV used to imprison upper-class French society, wrote her biography.

The Bastille. ©iStockphoto/ilbusca

The Bastille. ©iStockphoto/ilbusca

I ran across The Autobiography of Madame Guyon in the 1990s. I bought it at a bookstore, but you can read it for free today. Guyon took me to 17th century France in the reign of Louis XIV where things were heating up in the religious realm. In 1785, Louis revoked the Edict of Nantes issued by Henry IV in 1598, that gave the French protestants the right to practice their religion without fear of persecution. It was in this climate that Guyon, a devout Catholic, fell under sway of the practice of living in the presence of God through continual prayer. When her message caught the heart of Barnabite Francois Fenelon and religious circles of French court, her ideas were condemned and she was arrested.

Confined, Guyon wrote her religious autobiography, a practice popular among 17th century religious and noble women. Tristine Rainer says the practice originated with with Saint Augustine, “the fornicating, thieving, carousing, then converted sinner/saint” who wrote Confessions about 399 AD. However, Guyon’s autobiography steers more toward an explanation of her theology and suffering than the racy confessional bestsellers of her era that led to the novel.

Though lost, Guyon’s autobiography was discovered and published in French in 1992. Is there an imprisonment confession/justification, religious or otherwise, in your future?

Your Life as Story: Discovering the “New Autobiography” and Writing Memoir as Literature

Fairy tales, fables, Bible stories, picture books, filmed animated fantasies, children’s plays, made up tales… I loved all forms of story I encountered as a child. Stories, real or fiction in any form, hinted in whispered tones that my life could be story, too. Tristine Rainer was the first to bring those whispers to actual considerations for me through her book.

Rainer was a television producer of other people’s stories when she realized she could not see the story in her own life. Her life felt fragmented, lacking what she felt was “coherent flow.” Examining her life caused Rainer to identify her passion for life story and led her to make herself her lab for discovering the autobiographical methodology she felt was missing at the time.

What was new about Rainer’s “new autobiography” thought when she published? Rainer’s view of autobiography was self-discovery rather than self-promotion and opened autobiography to the non-celibrity.

More than fifteen years later, Tristine Rainer’s thought still holds. If you want to achieve what James Atlas calls “unmatched depth and resonance,” let Your Life as Story be your guide.